i think fat women are beautiful, don't get me wrong. but am i a bad person for not wanting to be fat? the same way i don't want to be a brunette, i just don't want to be fat.am i betraying the movement?
I’m assuming that you are currently fat, but don’t want to be. A twitter buddy is going through the same feelings at the moment - wanting to change her body and feeling incredibly guilty and traitorous as a result. I’ll tell you what I told her:
You’re not a traitor. You feel how you feel and you shouldn’t feel obligated to lie about that for others’ comfort. You still believe in fat acceptance (at least I hope you do, Anon) and haven’t started spewing “Fat is bad for ALL OF US EVERYWHERE” so you haven’t done wrong by us.
Body policing and thin privilege is everywhere and it is constant. It’s totally understandable that, sometimes, this may get the better of you. That’s cool; I’m not deeply in love with myself 24/7. But so long as you’re making decisions pertaining to you, and not dictating what is best for other fatties based on your experiences, you’re not betraying the movement.
“When I talk about reclaiming “health”, I mean the word. Not the concept as those who stigmatize and moralize define it. I don’t want that because all that is is an unattainable standard. It has nothing to offer us. It wants us to be ashamed of our health concerns. No. I will not be. Fat acceptance is for all fat people. Those with health concerns, those who differently abled, all of us. We need to move past the shame and stigmatization of good vs. bad, healthy vs. unhealthy. We need to reclaim “health” as something we all have a right to. Not as something withheld if we have a condition to care for. As much as they want to make us out to be looking for excuses, what fat acceptance is really fighting for is for every fat person to have a chance to have their health needs addressed as they desire and without shaming. We are past their rules of healthy and unhealthy. Their rules have failed us and are failing us. When fat acceptance talks about “health”, we aren’t talking about what our fat shaming culture is talking about. We aren’t trying to tweak their rules, we are tearing them down to their very foundation so that we can construct something that will actually serve our needs and wishes.”—
Hello! I'd just like to say that I love your blog.
My problem with people being fat isn't because they're an eyesore or anything; I'm just worried about potential health issues. If people are fine with being "fat", that's all good, but I just want them to be careful about their health.
Having stumbled out of bed at 5pm after a wild party night, I thought I’d redeem myself by, you know, getting dressed and leaving the house for dinner with friends. I sort of feel like a Francesca Lia Block character in this slip dress, and I love pairing the pink dress with a deep olive green jacket.
What does the word "fat" mean to you? Considering the amount of conversation on your blog regarding body image, I was just wondering how you interpret it.
For someone who describes their body as fat, they have a lot of adipose tissue and are generally in the upper parts of the (ridiculous) body mass index and generally wear plus sizes. Their body is seen by society as greater than the health and/or beauty ideal (which means that a size 12 in the Phillipines, for example, may be considered ‘fat’, but would probably not be seen as ‘fat’ in Australia).
Im troubled here. I'm a big girl, 230 lbs and 5'9" big. The problem is, I don't look that big. I don't have that much of a belly, but I have big boobs and a big arse. That's not so bad, but the fact that I'm not respected by either the Fat community or the skinny community is my issue. I submit photos of myself in confidence to big girl blogs, and they always say I'm not big enough. I just want to be appreciated to SOME sort of a community, because I really AM a big girl, and it's upsetting to me that nobody believes me when I tell them my weight. I just don't know what to do.
I hear you. I’m around 210 lbs and 5’8” (I think…? America, you really should be down with the metric system by now) and I’ve gotten “but you’re not fat!” thrown at me quite a few times.
It’s bullshit. I know there’s a difference between fat experiences and I know that, while body policing affects us all, a size 6 calling herself fat won’t fly. BUT the cut off line for ‘fat’ is pretty hazy and that line isn’t best determined by some tumblr mod’s eyes.
You are not too thin for fat acceptance. Anyone worth their salt in this movement will tell you that and will respect when you identify as fat. The “but you’re not fat!” chorus has never come from a blogger/tumblrer/general internet person I respect; it’s always been from someone outside of or quite new to fat acceptance. You are absolutely welcome in the fat community (as are our skinny allies), but keep in mind that you’ll probably have to deal with some jerks (like you do in regular society).
As for your photos to big girl blogs… I dunno, darl. Mods are free to run their pages however they see fit, so you can’t force them to take you. If you want to feature on this page, feel free to send a photo to email@example.com. (Unless it’s out of focus/taken in front of a mirror/taken in your bathroom/taken in front of a mirror in your bathroom. I will not have that.) I have a backlog of submissions to get through, but I try very hard to post a variety of body shapes and sizes on here.