Congratulations on learning to love your body. I'm working on doing the same myself, and I find your tumblr inspiring. My question is, what do you think is the difference between "normal" or average, and fat? At what point is one considered fat?
This is a really tricky question. You can’t go by size or BMI, because they don’t take into account differing body shapes. You can’t go by weight, because that’s affected by a person’s height. You can’t go by what others see as fat, because other people don’t really know anything.
I don’t think there is a line that we can draw that separates the ‘fat’ from the ‘non-fat’. When it comes to those who are in-between (perceived) thinness and (perceived) fatness, it’s down to that individual to self-identify based on their experiences.
I love you! And I'd also love to hear your advice on dealing with people who imply that because of your size you have zero right eating or enjoying "bad" food.
I’ve been mulling this over in my head for about half an hour, but the most eloquent thing I can come up with is “Fuck ‘em”.
You don’t owe anybody any explanation when it comes to your eating habits. That’s the fabulous thing about body autonomy - you decide what you do to your own body (just as everyone else gets decides what to do to theirs). You are an adult - no one has the right to dictate what you can and cannot eat. If they think they do: fuck ‘em.
i am one lucky girl. i get to design clothing for every size woman, as the pic above demonstrates.
my mom always says how blessed (and smart) i am to do plus sizes. and she is right; it has boosted my sales tremendously. and that is without even having a plus size gal modeling the clothing. i thank u guys for trusting + believing in me. :)
so now i need to have plus size models to represent for my plus size gals! i am looking for 2 models; one for naKIMuli and one for shanae. really looking for women who want to grow with us as a company, as this will be a ongoing gig.
young, or at least looks around 21-30 (lol)
fun + energetic
for naKIMuli, someone who has an “edge” to their style/likes edgy clothing; for shanae, someone with a classy look.
comfortable with being in pics for our online stores/social networking sites and can take direction well
must own spanx and trendy heels/footwear (yes i said it lol)
must be able to travel to downtown brooklyn
able to do her own hair + light make-up is a plus
must fit our 2X size to a tee. measurements: bust- 46.5-48.5, waist- 39.5-41.5, hips- 49-51
we will also consider ladies who are a 1X. measurements: bust- 42.5-44.5 waist- 35.5-37.5 hips- 45-47
if u or someone u know is interested, email us, along with a full body pic, to email@example.com.
frances, you seem so confidant in everything you wear and do, i want to know how you do it? i beat myself daily over how i look and sometimes i just skip meals or over work myself in the gym, none the less i end up screwing myself over. can you help me?
I’ve answered a question pretty similar to this, so I’ll begin by telling you what I told them.
“It takes a lot of work to be insecure. A lot of time spent fretting, worrying, hiding, and apologising. To let all that go is a massive load off.
In the end, all that matters is how you feel about yourself. You’re the one that has to live with you. You have to make a decision that you’re not going to hate yourself anymore. … We all spend so much time trying to make our bodies ‘perfect’, when the perfect body is so dull. I honestly believe it’s our flaws that make our bodies so exciting - the scars, the wrinkles, the bones, the folds and the spots. It’s like an ever-changing work of art. Take pride in your imperfections - they are what make you beautiful.”
Now I’ll tell you a secret: I’m not always as confident as I seem. My self-esteem isn’t bulletproof and I have bad days. Don’t feel guilty about not having the self-love thing down just yet.
You have to force yourself to start looking at what you like about your body, instead of what you dislike. Fake it ‘til you make it - hold your head up and your shoulders back. It will be difficult at first, but over time it will become easier until it’s almost second nature.
Just thinking about how people justify their hatred. Sometimes I have these imaginary conversations:
I hate you because you’re fat.
Because it means you’re lazy and you can’t look after your body.
Because it means you don’t exercise and eat too much.
Even if that were true, why would that make you hate me?
Because you’re using up all our resources - our food and our healthcare.
The food I buy with my own money? Not even touching the “food mountains” of excess that the West creates? The healthcare I help pay for? Do you hate sick people too?
No. But you chose this lifestyle.
Even if that were true - even if I, the fatty, wasn’t just genetically predisposed to being fat, or unable to afford or take the time to cook healthier food, or any of the other perfectly legitimate reasons for being fat - even if I had done this to myself, willingly, why does it matter to you? Why should it affect you even remotely? Why are you so bothered by me having control of my own body?
… I have to look at you. I have to sit next to you on planes.
And you don’t like having to be near someone who you could possibly assume to be so lazy, and greedy, and ignorant, and indulgent, and stupid?
Then how can you bear to be near anyone? How can you bear to be with yourself?
“I also need to say that if I hear the “fat is the last acceptable oppression” meme one more time, I am going to scream (louder). Fat hatred is often blatant, shameless, vitriolic, and completely public. But guess what? So is racism! (And classism, heterosexism, ableism, and sexism.) Racism is institutionalized into our laws, our classrooms, our work places, and our daily interactions. Just because some white folks think it’s unacceptable to say the n-word, doesn’t mean that racism is gone or that it’s not “acceptable.” When people in the fat acceptance movement say that fat is the last acceptable oppression, it alienates and invalidates the struggles of people of color, who know first-hand that racism not only exists, but that it is also very much “acceptable” in polite society.”—
“Put on weight and say fuck off. Demand bigger sizes. Go into places where you can’t get a 38D bra and say, “I want a 38D bra and give me one. If you can’t, I am never coming here again.”—Emma Thompson speaking to the Daily Mail (and reminding me why I love her so much)